Chicken Bone Spurs

Instead of serving his country, Trump received five deferments from the draft during the Vietnam war. One was for college, and the others were for bone spurs in his heel, though he is not sure which heel was afflicted. To make matters worse, he has the audacity to disparage people who did serve because they were either of the wrong religion or political party, captured, wounded, or killed.

Best advice from Colonel Sanders to Trump: "You are what you eat."